she won't talk to, or stay long with, either of them after they all finally escape. mostly, she just wants to get the FUCK away from Dazai, though Aventurine, at least, will get a brush of reassurance and gratitude from the murmur before she takes off.
it isn't until later that night, once she's had a chance to recuperate and calm down, that she reaches out. with a deeply sour note of mixed irritation and complaint: ]
I didn't even know you two knew each other. What was all that about?
[ what she means is how he and Dazai spoke to each other, more than what actually happened. that, she understands perfectly well, even if she's still angry about it hours later. ]
[ he is more than willing to let her go peacefully once he is sure she is well enough to be on her own even if he's very careful about letting any of that be known beyond the two of them between their own connection. He certainly can't blame her for running off, either: he would have done the same thing in her position.
When she reaches out to him, though, he will answer. He's drained emotionally as much as physically, but that's partly because of the way this place behaves and how the voids are. With him being a Lightweaver, he's apparently even more troubled with them than the already unacceptable norm they're all suffering. Still, he doesn't complain. ]
I do, he lives at the hotel.
... I don't like his behavior about death, and he assured me at one point he wouldn't let Sleep win just to die. I won't let him so easily go back on his word about it.
[ of course, that's not the whole story he's willing to offer, and he doesn't try and hide that in their tether. He also doesn't care to overwhelm her with information, though, so unless she asks for more specifics he won't trouble her with the rest. Between their link, though, she will feel that she's welcome to ask further, and that he's not intentionally hiding anything so much as trying to give the simplest and most straightforward answer he can in the fewest words. Dazai is exhausting, at best, even when merely the topic of a conversation, afterall. ]
He's very hard to trust left to his own devices, though, once Sleep gets into his head and plays tricks on him.
He lives there? [ there's a clear thread of disgust in her voice. Dazai has won a truly unique amount of vitriol from her. ] My condolences. [ dry.
... yes, she can sense what he's doing, and why. she'll nudge at the murmur with her muted appreciation, but doesn't otherwise push, at least for now. ]
I know. I'm well aware of what he's like. I've known him since the very first dream, after all.
I doubt he mentioned exactly why I'm so upset with him. He seems to enjoy playing the whole thing off and refusing any responsibility for it.
Thank you. He's very much like a loud and lazy unlovable cat, it's unfortunate.
No, he hasn't, but I would have been quite upset with him in your shoes from what I encountered alone. Would you like to talk about it? I'm here for you to get it off your chest, if needed.
He won't even leave it alone! [ she knows the murmur will make plain her irritation and frustration, and so tries to hide neither as she normally might. ] He was ridiculous at the party, he made some comment to Megumi about being a homewrecker... [ INTENSE annoyance. ] He thinks much too highly of himself if he can joke about something like that.
[ she is really just very sick of his nonsense at this point. ]
Then I found him in the dark, and ... [ a sigh. ] I couldn't leave him there. And he was being stubborn about it, of course...
[ she'll feel from his end something akin to a soothing touch running through her hair, reassuring and calming so she can feel encouraged to get it off her chest. He listens, considering, and she'll also be able to send him nodding along with her silently.
When she finally finished, he hums softly. ]
Mm... the day he apologizes for anything is the day that he has to turn his entire world upside down, that we can be sure of.
Dazai shows his affections by teasing those he likes. Unfortunately, he knows he irritates you, and he quite likes it— especially since you're usually so composed.
[ he chuckles a bit. ] A homewrecker, though, is it... that does sound like something he'd say. He's closer in age to me than he is to you, but I suppose he's still young enough to feel strange competition from a male teenager.
[ ...sort of. Aventurine is pretty sure Dante and Dazai are also about the same age, and yet he can't really picture Dante being "young enough" to behave like Dazai. Then again, he's pretty sure Dante and Dazai haven't even acknowledged each other's existence despite being in the same building. So ... who knows, really. ]
Was the tether you two had enough that the snap hurt or was it simply his behavior and the principle that upset you?
I didn't mind talking to him, in the beginning, [ she'll sigh. ] It's only since I came back that I've found him completely insufferable.
[ of course he gets under her skin. he snapped their tether. she hasn't actually stopped being mad about it, nearly two months later! ]
That wasn't the first "joke" he's made about there being something between us. ... as you said, I'm pretty sure he only does it because he knows it annoys me.
[ she honestly has no idea if there's a genuine attraction behind his needling, and absolutely does not care to find out.
the question wins absolute silence, and a faint reluctance in the murmur. she debates, momentarily, how honest she wants to be about this answer. ]
... it wasn't pleasant. [ the fact that she had to scramble away from the others in the tunnels to go throw up when it happened is something she'll likely take to her grave. ] But it's the principle, too. I think he only did it because he was sure I went home, and he didn't like that I was back in Sleep's clutches, or something like that. Not that I ever went home. Which he might have known, if he'd simply asked me instead of assuming.
And I'm sure it wasn't. When you died to that creature in the dream, Dazai did as well. Between the two of you and Kal, I lost three tethers violently. ...So I snapped a tether with someone I had met in the dream at their request as I didn't believe at that point it would matter, especially on that tether. It hurt a lot more than I care to admit.
[ He considers her logic and thoughts on the matter. At the very least, Dazai doing something because he doesn't like a situation matches quite well. ] And he won't speak to you about the situation to resolve it? Or does he simply act like it never happened?
No, he wouldn't have. [ he smiles a little, it felt through the tether because a gentle nudge as he speaks with a few words to back her own convictions up with proof. ]
The gun was empty. [ not that Aventurine is any happier with the situation overall because Dazai's behavior was definitely a problem, but... he hopes it gives her a boost what with how frustrating it's been for her with Dazai lately. ]
... I don't know about less obnoxious, [ she'll concede. the only concession she'll make to the fact that she's the one who's changed in this equation, not Dazai. ] Maybe it was less irritating when it was also less personal.
[ she doesn't know how to comment on his own pain with snapped tethers. if only because she just doesn't want to admit to herself how much it hurt, and how much it continues to bother her. instead—she returns his gesture from a moment ago, trying to lend him what comfort she can through the murmur alone, her sympathy as quiet and unassuming as a hand slipped gently into his. ]
We did speak, at the party. Resolve it? [ she laughs ] Once he knew what had really happened, he just told me some silly folktale rather than actually address it. I don't believe he cares to resolve it at all.
[ there's fire in her voice, an absolutely furious disdain.
but her flames are tempered by Aventurine's agreement—and new information. she scoffs. ]
Of course it was. Did he really think he could scare me? [ never mind that she had, in fact, been terrified. it wasn't enough to make her back down, unfortunately for him. ] I really have no idea what he was hoping to achieve. ... we're lucky you noticed what was going on, [ she'll admit with a sigh. ]
Which does remind me. You won't tell anyone else, will you? I'd rather this not get out. [ she genuinely doesn't know what many of her tethers would do if they knew a man she didn't like had threatened her with a gun to her temple, loaded or not. ]
[ Aventurine is very okay that she has nothing to say about that. He doesn't want to talk about it, but he did want her to know that no matter how unpleasant it was that she shouldn't feel there something wrong with her for feeling any hurt from it.
When she mentions the party and his behavior, Aventurine nods with a light sigh. He knows how that is to some level, even if he's been very careful lately about getting too easily caught up in it. He doesn't have any good advice for Lortel, because he already knows that the only possible way they can change Dazai to a level that they feel is positive requires a change in Dazai that's just almost impossible to hope for. He's one of those people that you simply have to take as they are as they entirely refuse to meet you halfway for anything. ]
Oh, don't worry about that. My lips are sealed. [ it's not that he cares less about Lortel than her other tethers; but as someone who has threatened others with harm even if for their own good, he has no ground to stand on. Pair that with the fact he simply doesn't feel Dazai is that kind of threat to Lortel.
Besides, he's quite sure Dazai won't kill Lortel. He's not so sure Dazai won't kill one of Lortel's tethers if they insert themselves as a not-asked-for 'solution' to a non-existent problem. ]
As for me, I'm here when you need me regarding him, but you don't need to worry about me making it my business, either.
I just figured as someone who has also been dealing with him, it might be good for you to be able to get it off your chest without having to worry the someone you're talking to is going to butt into your affairs.
... she's grateful. his continued consideration of her hasn't gone unnoticed.
even now, it's not that she wants to or thinks she could change Dazai. perhaps she's just realized this is an unstoppable force and immovable wall situation. they'll never see eye to eye. why bash her head into a problem that doesn't need solving and can't be solved? ]
Thank you, [ she'll sigh. it doesn't even occur to her to think badly of him for his easy and immediate agreement. the last thing she wants is for the people who care about her to learn about this. she can't say she fully knows what might happen, but if any of them went after Dazai because of this ...
... no. she doesn't even want to picture it. all she has to do is prevent it. ]
... how well do you know him, anyway? Have you also known him since the beginning?
[ she hasn't met anyone else who seems to know Dazai, or perhaps, seems to know him as well as either of the two of them do. ]
[ Aventurine has to stop a think about that. Even before he 'speaks,' she'll get the immediately impression that no, they didn't meet in the first dream. ]
Let's see... I believe I met him when our abilities first began overwhelming us. He was drinking in his own little self-conjured bar.
As for how well I know him, that's probably tricky to answer, but... more than I should, less than I'd like? Or is it the other way around...? [ he chuckles a bit playfully. ]
We spend a lot of idle time together. After Till left, Dazai was the only person I saw interacted with daily for a while.
[ he pauses as if considering before speaking a little more plainly. ] I don't... agree with his desire to die, but I understand it at least partly. [ not fully. if he understood fully, maybe he'd not be so stumped about why Dazai wouldn't accept his offer. Or maybe, it's not that he only partly understands his desire to die, and that he only partly understands Dazai despite the ex-mafia leader trying to make it like that all there is to him. ]
Is that what you're wondering about? Or something else?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
February
she won't talk to, or stay long with, either of them after they all finally escape. mostly, she just wants to get the FUCK away from Dazai, though Aventurine, at least, will get a brush of reassurance and gratitude from the murmur before she takes off.
it isn't until later that night, once she's had a chance to recuperate and calm down, that she reaches out. with a deeply sour note of mixed irritation and complaint: ]
I didn't even know you two knew each other. What was all that about?
[ what she means is how he and Dazai spoke to each other, more than what actually happened. that, she understands perfectly well, even if she's still angry about it hours later. ]
no subject
When she reaches out to him, though, he will answer. He's drained emotionally as much as physically, but that's partly because of the way this place behaves and how the voids are. With him being a Lightweaver, he's apparently even more troubled with them than the already unacceptable norm they're all suffering. Still, he doesn't complain. ]
I do, he lives at the hotel.
... I don't like his behavior about death, and he assured me at one point he wouldn't let Sleep win just to die. I won't let him so easily go back on his word about it.
[ of course, that's not the whole story he's willing to offer, and he doesn't try and hide that in their tether. He also doesn't care to overwhelm her with information, though, so unless she asks for more specifics he won't trouble her with the rest. Between their link, though, she will feel that she's welcome to ask further, and that he's not intentionally hiding anything so much as trying to give the simplest and most straightforward answer he can in the fewest words. Dazai is exhausting, at best, even when merely the topic of a conversation, afterall. ]
He's very hard to trust left to his own devices, though, once Sleep gets into his head and plays tricks on him.
no subject
... yes, she can sense what he's doing, and why. she'll nudge at the murmur with her muted appreciation, but doesn't otherwise push, at least for now. ]
I know. I'm well aware of what he's like. I've known him since the very first dream, after all.
I doubt he mentioned exactly why I'm so upset with him. He seems to enjoy playing the whole thing off and refusing any responsibility for it.
no subject
Thank you. He's very much like a loud and lazy unlovable cat, it's unfortunate.
No, he hasn't, but I would have been quite upset with him in your shoes from what I encountered alone. Would you like to talk about it? I'm here for you to get it off your chest, if needed.
1/2
2/3 actually
[ knowingly and on purpose. ]
All because he made a stupid assumption that has nothing to do with me. And of course he refused to apologize.
no subject
[ she is really just very sick of his nonsense at this point. ]
Then I found him in the dark, and ... [ a sigh. ] I couldn't leave him there. And he was being stubborn about it, of course...
no subject
When she finally finished, he hums softly. ]
Mm... the day he apologizes for anything is the day that he has to turn his entire world upside down, that we can be sure of.
Dazai shows his affections by teasing those he likes. Unfortunately, he knows he irritates you, and he quite likes it— especially since you're usually so composed.
[ he chuckles a bit. ] A homewrecker, though, is it... that does sound like something he'd say. He's closer in age to me than he is to you, but I suppose he's still young enough to feel strange competition from a male teenager.
[ ...sort of. Aventurine is pretty sure Dante and Dazai are also about the same age, and yet he can't really picture Dante being "young enough" to behave like Dazai. Then again, he's pretty sure Dante and Dazai haven't even acknowledged each other's existence despite being in the same building. So ... who knows, really. ]
Was the tether you two had enough that the snap hurt or was it simply his behavior and the principle that upset you?
no subject
[ of course he gets under her skin. he snapped their tether. she hasn't actually stopped being mad about it, nearly two months later! ]
That wasn't the first "joke" he's made about there being something between us. ... as you said, I'm pretty sure he only does it because he knows it annoys me.
[ she honestly has no idea if there's a genuine attraction behind his needling, and absolutely does not care to find out.
the question wins absolute silence, and a faint reluctance in the murmur. she debates, momentarily, how honest she wants to be about this answer. ]
... it wasn't pleasant. [ the fact that she had to scramble away from the others in the tunnels to go throw up when it happened is something she'll likely take to her grave. ] But it's the principle, too. I think he only did it because he was sure I went home, and he didn't like that I was back in Sleep's clutches, or something like that. Not that I ever went home. Which he might have known, if he'd simply asked me instead of assuming.
[ ...
softly, musingly: ]
He wouldn't have shot me. That, I don't believe.
no subject
And I'm sure it wasn't. When you died to that creature in the dream, Dazai did as well. Between the two of you and Kal, I lost three tethers violently. ...So I snapped a tether with someone I had met in the dream at their request as I didn't believe at that point it would matter, especially on that tether. It hurt a lot more than I care to admit.
[ He considers her logic and thoughts on the matter. At the very least, Dazai doing something because he doesn't like a situation matches quite well. ] And he won't speak to you about the situation to resolve it? Or does he simply act like it never happened?
No, he wouldn't have. [ he smiles a little, it felt through the tether because a gentle nudge as he speaks with a few words to back her own convictions up with proof. ]
The gun was empty. [ not that Aventurine is any happier with the situation overall because Dazai's behavior was definitely a problem, but... he hopes it gives her a boost what with how frustrating it's been for her with Dazai lately. ]
no subject
[ she doesn't know how to comment on his own pain with snapped tethers. if only because she just doesn't want to admit to herself how much it hurt, and how much it continues to bother her. instead—she returns his gesture from a moment ago, trying to lend him what comfort she can through the murmur alone, her sympathy as quiet and unassuming as a hand slipped gently into his. ]
We did speak, at the party. Resolve it? [ she laughs ] Once he knew what had really happened, he just told me some silly folktale rather than actually address it. I don't believe he cares to resolve it at all.
[ there's fire in her voice, an absolutely furious disdain.
but her flames are tempered by Aventurine's agreement—and new information. she scoffs. ]
Of course it was. Did he really think he could scare me? [ never mind that she had, in fact, been terrified. it wasn't enough to make her back down, unfortunately for him. ] I really have no idea what he was hoping to achieve. ... we're lucky you noticed what was going on, [ she'll admit with a sigh. ]
Which does remind me. You won't tell anyone else, will you? I'd rather this not get out. [ she genuinely doesn't know what many of her tethers would do if they knew a man she didn't like had threatened her with a gun to her temple, loaded or not. ]
no subject
When she mentions the party and his behavior, Aventurine nods with a light sigh. He knows how that is to some level, even if he's been very careful lately about getting too easily caught up in it. He doesn't have any good advice for Lortel, because he already knows that the only possible way they can change Dazai to a level that they feel is positive requires a change in Dazai that's just almost impossible to hope for. He's one of those people that you simply have to take as they are as they entirely refuse to meet you halfway for anything. ]
Oh, don't worry about that. My lips are sealed. [ it's not that he cares less about Lortel than her other tethers; but as someone who has threatened others with harm even if for their own good, he has no ground to stand on. Pair that with the fact he simply doesn't feel Dazai is that kind of threat to Lortel.
Besides, he's quite sure Dazai won't kill Lortel. He's not so sure Dazai won't kill one of Lortel's tethers if they insert themselves as a not-asked-for 'solution' to a non-existent problem. ]
As for me, I'm here when you need me regarding him, but you don't need to worry about me making it my business, either.
I just figured as someone who has also been dealing with him, it might be good for you to be able to get it off your chest without having to worry the someone you're talking to is going to butt into your affairs.
no subject
... she's grateful. his continued consideration of her hasn't gone unnoticed.
even now, it's not that she wants to or thinks she could change Dazai. perhaps she's just realized this is an unstoppable force and immovable wall situation. they'll never see eye to eye. why bash her head into a problem that doesn't need solving and can't be solved? ]
Thank you, [ she'll sigh. it doesn't even occur to her to think badly of him for his easy and immediate agreement. the last thing she wants is for the people who care about her to learn about this. she can't say she fully knows what might happen, but if any of them went after Dazai because of this ...
... no. she doesn't even want to picture it. all she has to do is prevent it. ]
... how well do you know him, anyway? Have you also known him since the beginning?
[ she hasn't met anyone else who seems to know Dazai, or perhaps, seems to know him as well as either of the two of them do. ]
cw: suicide/death in general
[ Aventurine has to stop a think about that. Even before he 'speaks,' she'll get the immediately impression that no, they didn't meet in the first dream. ]
Let's see... I believe I met him when our abilities first began overwhelming us. He was drinking in his own little self-conjured bar.
As for how well I know him, that's probably tricky to answer, but... more than I should, less than I'd like? Or is it the other way around...? [ he chuckles a bit playfully. ]
We spend a lot of idle time together. After Till left, Dazai was the only person I saw interacted with daily for a while.
[ he pauses as if considering before speaking a little more plainly. ] I don't... agree with his desire to die, but I understand it at least partly. [ not fully. if he understood fully, maybe he'd not be so stumped about why Dazai wouldn't accept his offer. Or maybe, it's not that he only partly understands his desire to die, and that he only partly understands Dazai despite the ex-mafia leader trying to make it like that all there is to him. ]
Is that what you're wondering about? Or something else?